#npmd headcanons

[rentumblsstuff]

Steph posts dance TikToks even though she sucks at dancing (she still thinks it’s fun and people think she’s just bad ironically so she’s still cool) and the first time she made Pete do one with her he hit ALL THE SCHMOVES and the comments were exclusively any variation of “GO WHITE BOY GO”

[xxbimboboyxx]

This is how their homecoming went right?

Also i changed stephs dress to an extent because i have a giant hatred for the dress she wears in canon. Lemme know if you want me to rant about how shitty that outfit is for the setting shes in :3

oh and mixed steph cuz Corey plays her dad so it makes sense to me ^^

[vilnmelling]

Paul-is-Richie's-uncle people, this one's for you.

"Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em straight to hell! Assholes!"

This quote's exactly what Paul says in Honey Queen, and exactly what Richie says in Nerdy Prudes Must Die. I think all of us with the "Paul is Richie's uncle" headcanon have accepted that this is somehow correlated to that, so let me elaborate.

"Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em straight to hell. Assholes." is Paul's go-to phrase for saying "Fuck Clivesdale," just like "How about an iced caramel frap, nothing better" is his go-to for offering to pick up coffee for his coworkers. (The way he says "Fuck 'em" while talking to Emma about Clivesdale is very similar to the first fuck 'em in the phrase).

Paul's said it enough times around Richie that Richie's picked up on it and it's become his go-to as well.

[kiyooriu]

NPMD headcanons based on nothing but what my 100% Real Psychic Powers tell me

- richie hates eating peanuts. not because he’s allergic, not because he dislikes the taste but a Secret Third Thing

- after exactly 2 hrs, 35 mins, and 16 secs pete will always ALWAYS stretch back and let out the loudest scream known to man to get his extra energy out

- ruth wrote an entire 1 hr 30 min musical based on star wars one night and it’s on soundcloud somewhere but she won’t tell anyone how to find it (pete found it on accident but won’t tell her because he knows she’d probably freak out about it, he still listens to it occasionally)

- steph can play the bass nd her go-to song is hey barbara (IV of Spades)

- in line with this ^^ pete has rudimentary guitar skills and wanted to write a few songs with ruth’s help but she refused

- grace wanted to learn how to play the flute but was never allowed to bc her parents thought it would “give her ideas”

- richie’s trans awakening was in elementary when he and two other friends wanted to dress as the kids from dinosaur king nd the other girl was really insistent on being zoe so he dressed up as rex and it Felt Nice

- richie’s BI awakening was the sasunaru kiss and he thought he was homophobic bc he “felt weird after seeing it”

- RUTH’S bi awakening was watching lotr fellowship of the ring when arwen said “if you want him, come and claim him” (she rewatched it multiple times and didn’t sleep)

- one time in elementary grace really wanted candy but her parents were Very against it so she paid a friend to get her one (1) gumball and dhe felt so bad she cried about it and wanted to lock herself up in church

- richie is Mildly into kpop (bc a lot of anime enjoyers i know also like kpop) and he tried to get ruth into it too (mostly the choreography bc he wants ruth to get into dancing again)

- everyone in grace’s elementary was reading harry potter nd she wanted to know what the hype was about but didn’t want the Devil Magic to get her so she borrowed a copy from the library under another student’s name and then burned it after reading to “show god she condemned the devil worshipping” (i think she’s unhinged enough for that)

- pete’s favorite scooby-doo character is shaggy ahaha

- steph used to roleplay teen titans with some childhood friends and would always ask the boy she liked at the time to be beast boy so she could be raven and pretend they were a couple

brain juice wore off pls enjoy the hcs 👾

[cherry-flavored-sigh]

a lil headcanon about the end of NPMD (spoilers ahead, obvs)

i was thinking about NPMD this morning (as you do) and i realized something.

by the end of NPMD, when max's soul is taken by the lords? who do you think is going to torture him the most?

tinky.

let me explain.

who was tinky watching like a hawk during "the summoning"? pete. another spankoffski. another prize for his toybox. he could hardly keep his hands off him. you could see that he wanted to lunge at pete and grab him right away. he probably even got a bit mad when wiggly stroked the boy's face.

but it was okay. because this would be perfect! he'd have a Petey all of his own! and then he could torture the brothers together and they can watch each other suffer which will make them BOTH suffer more-

but then. BUT THEN.

max stopped steph from shooting pete. and either max moves at super ghostly speed or some magic imbued in his undead form from the waylon place gave him time-slowing powers. but either way, he stopped that bullet.

pete was going to die. and he wasn't going to heaven or hell. he was going to be taken to the Black, where he would definitely be tinky's new favorite toy.

so how dare this shitty zombie jock use this ripoff version of his time-controlling powers. and ESPECIALLY how dare he use them to keep pete from getting shot and his soul falling straight into tinky's terrifying grasp?

then he has to watch grace and max have sex, which is absolutely fucking disgusting. he was already seething, but now he knows that he's not going to get a good toy out of this deal. he's getting this stupid shitty kid that no one liked.

and he's not a spankoffski.

so when the lords do take his soul, when max is pulled into the Black, of course wiggly is gleeful about this. all of them are. oh, how they'll enjoy torturing him for all eternity, exposing him to unimaginable horrors and unspeakable evils. what a fun new toy!

but they decide that their furious bastard of a brother should get first dibs. after all, they knew tinky was really looking forward to having a Petey. and it's the only thing they can think of to calm him down, because "rage" doesn't even begin to describe how tinky's feeling right now.

besides, now that they have grace as their fun little soulsnatcher, they'll have plenty of other toys to play with.

so they gladly hand max over to tinky.

max thought he knew what fear was. skele'ns, ghosts, people forgetting about him, his (probably abusive) father.

no.

this is going to be way worse.

he sees tinky's horrific, goat-like grin, feels his crackling, angry energy radiating in the Black and surrounding him.

tinky's voice is low, a deep growl that shakes max's bones. he wears a smile that is anything but happy.

"you're going in the box now, maxie-poo. i hope you have..."

"... a great time." 💛

[amazingmsme]

So just imagine Ted meeting the rest of the Lords in Black. That man has no idea what the hell is going on, where the hell he is, or who the hell they are. But he doesn’t appreciate it & really isn’t all that impressed so I think he’d resort to being very snarky & defensive. Like they introduce themselves as the lords in black & legit do the whole song & dance. He just stands there swaying along & waits for them to finish & then goes “for the “lords in black” you sure are a bunch of rainbow lookin’ motherfuckers” complete with air quotes & everything

Chaos ensues when Tinky tries to keep his brothers from killing his new kidnapped boyfriend while Ted just keeps pissing them off on purpose

Shit like making fun of their full names in a teasey asshole way, which leads to informal introductions with their nicknames. & y’all he straight up bullies Wiggly & calls his ass out. Like “Wiggly? No relation to tickle me wiggly I suppose” & laughs at his own joke & Wiggly is quietly seething & goes “actually, yes” & Ted, lovable bastard that he is, doubles over in laughter like “oh my god, really? Fuckin’ A! So what, I just tickle your tummy and we’re friends or some shit?”

& Wiggly snatches his wrist & is like “don’t you even think about trying that again” & yeah it’s a little scary, but he’s pretty sure Tinky will protect him. So he just smirks & rolls his eyes like “ok riddle me this wise guy: why make a tickle doll of yourself if you don’t wanna get tickled?” & does that fucking shrug from tgwdlm (where he’s like I say we go & beg for the king’s help around 4:40 in the video) but he basically renders him speechless as he’s getting ready to lash out & make Ted eat those words. But Blinky’s like “we’ve all been thinking it, haven’t we?”

Ted is just enjoying the show as Wiggly’s all pissy & defensive like “I’ve told you it wasn’t even my idea!” But the rest of the lib are like “yeah suuuure” because they never pass up an opportunity to tease the shit out of him. & Ted just keeps stirring the pot & Wiggly decides to wreck him since he thinks this is all just so funny

[royall-ass]

Heh…. take a bunch of my npmd headcanons :3 idk how in character these are, but i tried

michie is in this, so if you don’t like that, uh…… this might not be the post for you

ALSO!!! Rory is @blue-razzslushie2’s oc!!! go check out their rp blog for them :3

One time Richie was talking about an anime, and Ruth made a joke about yaoi. Afterwards, when her and Grace were alone, Grace asked her what yaoi was. Ruth explained it, and the next day, Grace confronted Richie and asked if he needed to see her pastor.

Ruth and Richie have Warrior Cats fursonas. They’ve drawn the rest of the group as cats together.

During Halloween, the students were allowed to come to school in their costumes. Steph dressed as princess Leia. Pete couldn’t look her in the eye the entire day.

Richie doesn’t just like anime, no, he’s convinced himself the characters are real. He has an Eren Yeager poster in his room, and Ruth came over one time and accidentally threw her sock at it. Richie cried the rest of the hangout because he was scared she hurt him.

Richie also uses a lot of Japanese in his vocabulary. Ruth and Rory call him an Otaku for it.

Max has a grandma with Alzheimer’s that he takes care of. He cares about her a lot. When she died, he was the nicest he’d ever been to the nerds for a week. He was too distraught to be a dickhead. (got this idea based on a fic!!)

One time Richie insulted true crime and mystery novels, and Rory made a youtube channel similar to Cinema Sins and posted ten videos in one day about all the anime’s Richie liked and how they sucked.

Richie unironically came to school in a maid dress and cat ears in the eighth grade for Halloween. Max called him pussy for a week.

When Rory eventually tells the nerds about the Lords in Black, Richie and Ruth immediately start making fanart of what they could possibly look like. A lot of them were Tumblr sexymen-esque.

Ruth tried getting the school to do Death Note the musical just so Richie would do theater with her and her anxiety wouldn’t get so bad. It did not work.

Richie LOVESSS Vocaloid.

Whenever Ruth says something horny, Grace slips the number and address of her church into her locker or on a detention note.

When Max is nice to the nerds again, he starts joining their D&D sessions. He says he only does it because Steph goes despite how nerdy it is, but he always sits directly next to Richie when the other DMs and he tries interacting with his characters as much as possible..

i’ll post more eventually

[lady-loveluck]

In my HC where Max and the losers are friends, I imagine they are gonna go to a comicon and they try to make max do cosplay, cuz, y'know, he'd kill it with his looks and muscles, he'd do an amazing superhero!

Richie suggests Superman and Ruth agrees but Pete's like "naaah gimme a second"

And comes back with a Max in a Homelander costume.

[thatbaldartist]

Some art and headcanons of my favorite nerds~ Peter Spankoffski (he/him) -Autistic transmasc bisexual.

-Started testosterone a few months before the events of NPMD (hence his squeaky voice and general horniness.)

-Lives with his brother, Ted, who is also transmasc!

-Has known Richie since first grade, and met Ruth in dance class. They've all been inseparable since.

-Has aspirations to start a band with Richie and Ruth.

Ruth Fleming (he/she/they) -Transmasc bisexual.

-Hasn't changed their name or started hormones yet. They're still trying to figure everything out and any name they choose they end up hating.

-Richie's cousin (they just read like cousins to me.)

-Favorite music genre is K-Pop (much to Richie's distaste...)

-Dances in their spare time (usually by herself in their room.)

-Highly suspects they're neurodivergent, but doesn't have the resources to get tested.

Richie Lipschitz (he/they) -Autistic, gay transmasc nonbinary.

-Started testosterone a few years ago thanks to his uncle, Paul.

-(Speaking of-) lives with his uncle, Paul. Let's just say Richie's parents weren't the most supportive people when he came out to them.

-Ruth's cousin. They argue about their music tastes all the time (it's not Richie's fault that Ruth prefers K-Pop to the superior J-Pop!)

-Furry artist in their spare time (they designed Zeke the Fighting Nighthawk!)

[raspberrysmoon]

a small collection of grace headcanons that im using for a fic right now:

- autism. ruth and richie are suspicious that she has it, but her parents never saw a need to take her to a doctor- they just gave her what she needed when she needed it (modeling this after a friend of mine and also myself)

- adores the story of anastasia. favorite movie. comfort movie. she knows every line. can talk for 4 hours about the real story

- very very good relationship with her parents. shes the light of their life and she would never dream of leaving them. usually.

- has three very specific safe foods, but loves trying new things. her foods are orange starbursts, cheddar cheez-its snapped and peach yogurt

- owns, like, a dozen spare bibles. she takes a spare one to church every day with her own in case anyone needs or wants one

- you know those annotations that people will do with books? the tabs? thats what graces personal bible looks like

- huge history buff. she especially likes learning world religion. she finds it facinating

- tripped and fell on a boy in 2nd grade and thought it would get her pregnant. the boy was max. he doesnt remember this, but she sure does. she cant look him in yhe eye ten years later.

- cannot wear colors that aren't very light pastels or white. even in socks. it makes her eyes sting. only exception to this is One dark green plaid flannel that someone gives her one day

- huge huge huge bracelet enjoyer. she loves jewelry. earrings, necklaces, rings, she doesnt care. she finds it all so pretty and would love to sell her own creations some day

- carries her bible in that little pink backpack. also carries various snacks- on top of her safe foods she carries salty snacks, protein bars and chocolate bars for people who need salt, sugar or food in general. she gives these out to anyone who needs or wants any (she buys petes favorite chocolate and only gives it to him)

- her house has a cozy little basement and she has her friends down there all the time

- she definitely makes her own birthday cards and presents to give to people. everyone gets a handwritten letter from her

- a mother hen about things like sunscreen and proper diet

[tedlovesmusicals]

random Spankoffski headcanons that come to me when I'm supposed to be sleeping

Ted and Paul went to Sycamore together but Ted was expelled/had to transfer to Hatchetfield High their senior year

When Ted found out Pete was saying more than one person, he immediately thought he was cheating and proceeded to make a calendar "to balance his brothers hoes" and not get caught.

When Ted presented the calendar to Pete, he was horrified and informed his older brother that he was in a polycule. Ted took him out for ice cream after cause he "didn't think he had it in him."

Ted and Pete's parents haven't been in their lives since Ted emancipated himself and took custody of Pete. Their dad occasionally checks in with them and tries to get them into the family business. Ted kicks him to the curb every time.

Paul also babysat Pete whenever he was with Richie, and then as they got older, Paul would drive the nerdy prudes around. Until Steph, the first of the group, gets her license.

Pete grew up knowing Alice from the company picnics Ted would drag him to. Alice is two years older, and the first openly gay person Pete knows.

In the timelines where Ted is the homeless man, Pete lives with his dad and only knows Ted through snide remarks his dad makes about his no good older son.

[xxbimboboyxx]

This is them to me, and im infecting yall with my disabled ritchie agenda

[vilnmelling]

NPMD headcanon of the day

After Go Go Nighthawks!, Jason still calls Richie "Shit-lips," so I present:

Jason, being not the sharpest tool in the shed, thinks Shitlips is Richie's real last name (probably thinks Flemwad is Ruth's too), because that was all Max ever called him (mind you, Max calls Pete "Spankoffski")

[spac3-pup]

Oh yeah Maxwell is totally auDHD who just lived in a toxic household and ended up suppressing his feelings and became like that (I'm projecting)

[calliecuzisaidso]

headcanons w/o a prompt cuz i'm feelin silly! this is a hatchetfield post :3

alright, kicking off strong with max jägerman!

this dude is my babygirl. i'm literally dating an alter of him because i'm so down bad. also hai max if you're reading this ILY! alrighty enough of that, time for the content!!!

max is actually REALLY on top of being clean. he can't mentally function with anything dirty, whether that be his room, bed, self, shoes, clothes, my mans just cannot handle it. freaks him out.

he's also like VERY specific when he's describing something he wants. like down to the minute detail typa shit, he's talkin texture, flavor, scent, and visuals. nothing gets left out.

despite being in remedial algebra, he's a GOD at english classes. max is very creative at heart, and writing essays gives him a chance to express that. though that's like the only subject he actually likes. or does well in, for that matter.

he's got a tongue piercing. influenced by my fav artist @lady-loveluck (hi by the way,) this headcanon has been my obsession for legitimate MONTHS now. like my god. it's just... wow.

max has got quite the search history. nothing like incriminating or disgusting, but just... random bullshit, like "can babies drink water?" (they can't, by the way.)

thanks for listening friendos 🫶

[fnife]

Special shout out to the little quotes I put on my npmd playlists :33

Stephanie Lauter - “I didn’t wanna like you, you made me”

Peter Spankofski - “I didn’t know you were funny” “…neither did i”

Ruth Flemminh - “I used to dance”

Richie Lipschitz - “I love being alive!”

Grace Chastity - “Mama I’m cured”

Max Jagerman - “That was really special”