#npmd headcanons

[ghouliganboy]

Ruth making Richie watch monster high in middle school and Richie thinks Jackson Jekyll is hot. Next day he sees Pete and his world is destroyed because why are they the same person

[rentumblsstuff]

Steph posts dance TikToks even though she sucks at dancing (she still thinks it’s fun and people think she’s just bad ironically so she’s still cool) and the first time she made Pete do one with her he hit ALL THE SCHMOVES and the comments were exclusively any variation of “GO WHITE BOY GO”

[xxbimboboyxx]

This is them to me, and im infecting yall with my disabled ritchie agenda

[davysaysstuff]

NPMD Phone Headcanons:

Richie:

- Phone is cracked to all hell. Paul forced him to get an otterbox phone case so it won’t break as often. Richie actually used to have one of those really chunky and obnoxious Sanrio cases but it kept falling out and cracking

- Has a shit ton widgets, one for Spotify, one for doulingo, and one for a chibi cat game he downloaded

- His photos are loaded with screenshots and memes of his favorite anime’s and characters, with the occasional Ruth and Peter here and there

- Richie has a bunch of stickers plastered around his phone, some from comic cons and some from Ruth

- Has three sets of headphones for his phone, a wire one, big wireless headphones, and wireless earbuds

- Phone is always at 20% or 10%

- Has about 500 billion AO3 tabs open on his google account

- His phone wallpaper is Asuka and Rei fanart

- Usually has his phone on DND, which causes his family and friends to worry when he doesn’t respond because he doesn’t see it

Peter:

- A really sturdy and old looking phone, but not like a Nokia

- Barley a scratch, he keeps good care of his belongings, thank you very much

- One single sticker from Richie and a small drawn on heart from Steph(he couldn’t get richies sticker off and he didn’t want to get Steph’s heart off)

- Owns Pandora to listen to music

- Has 6 numbers exactly, all others are either deleted or moved to Junk. In order, his mother, Ted, Richie, Ruth, Steph, and Grace. He doesn’t message Grace much, he only got her number for the plan

- Has beanies on speed-dial(for pickup when Ted wants coffee)

- His phone is at lowest 70%. He keeps it well charged and has a portable charger on him

- His phone wallpaper is a selfie of him and Steph at a festival

Ruth:

- Do NOT go through her photos or search history…

- Too many phone numbers, mostly from telemarketers. She saves them and messages them when she’s particularly lonely until they block her

- Ruth’s phone case is mostly stickers at this point. Doesn’t matter what it is, if she finds it on the ground, she slaps it on

- Her phone wallpaper is a plain color. She never learned how to change it

- Has Richie and Spotify on speed dial

- Ruth always has tangled headphones in her backpack, which takes her approximately an hour to untangle

- Back of her phone is cracked to the point you can see the inter workings of the phone

Steph:

- The latest and up to date phone(‘curtesy’ of her father)

- Her phone wallpaper is a photo of Peter she took

- Most of her photos are of her dog, Peter, Ruth, and Ritchie, but she does have a lot of selfies and photos of herself when she dresses up and posts them on instagram

- Has a lot of phone numbers, not because she talks to a lot of people but just because she gets peoples numbers then forgets the text them

Grace:

- Landline.

[vilnmelling]

Paul-is-Richie's-uncle people, this one's for you.

"Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em straight to hell! Assholes!"

This quote's exactly what Paul says in Honey Queen, and exactly what Richie says in Nerdy Prudes Must Die. I think all of us with the "Paul is Richie's uncle" headcanon have accepted that this is somehow correlated to that, so let me elaborate.

"Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em straight to hell. Assholes." is Paul's go-to phrase for saying "Fuck Clivesdale," just like "How about an iced caramel frap, nothing better" is his go-to for offering to pick up coffee for his coworkers. (The way he says "Fuck 'em" while talking to Emma about Clivesdale is very similar to the first fuck 'em in the phrase).

Paul's said it enough times around Richie that Richie's picked up on it and it's become his go-to as well.

[kiyooriu]

NPMD headcanons based on nothing but what my 100% Real Psychic Powers tell me

- richie hates eating peanuts. not because he’s allergic, not because he dislikes the taste but a Secret Third Thing

- after exactly 2 hrs, 35 mins, and 16 secs pete will always ALWAYS stretch back and let out the loudest scream known to man to get his extra energy out

- ruth wrote an entire 1 hr 30 min musical based on star wars one night and it’s on soundcloud somewhere but she won’t tell anyone how to find it (pete found it on accident but won’t tell her because he knows she’d probably freak out about it, he still listens to it occasionally)

- steph can play the bass nd her go-to song is hey barbara (IV of Spades)

- in line with this ^^ pete has rudimentary guitar skills and wanted to write a few songs with ruth’s help but she refused

- grace wanted to learn how to play the flute but was never allowed to bc her parents thought it would “give her ideas”

- richie’s trans awakening was in elementary when he and two other friends wanted to dress as the kids from dinosaur king nd the other girl was really insistent on being zoe so he dressed up as rex and it Felt Nice

- richie’s BI awakening was the sasunaru kiss and he thought he was homophobic bc he “felt weird after seeing it”

- RUTH’S bi awakening was watching lotr fellowship of the ring when arwen said “if you want him, come and claim him” (she rewatched it multiple times and didn’t sleep)

- one time in elementary grace really wanted candy but her parents were Very against it so she paid a friend to get her one (1) gumball and dhe felt so bad she cried about it and wanted to lock herself up in church

- richie is Mildly into kpop (bc a lot of anime enjoyers i know also like kpop) and he tried to get ruth into it too (mostly the choreography bc he wants ruth to get into dancing again)

- everyone in grace’s elementary was reading harry potter nd she wanted to know what the hype was about but didn’t want the Devil Magic to get her so she borrowed a copy from the library under another student’s name and then burned it after reading to “show god she condemned the devil worshipping” (i think she’s unhinged enough for that)

- pete’s favorite scooby-doo character is shaggy ahaha

- steph used to roleplay teen titans with some childhood friends and would always ask the boy she liked at the time to be beast boy so she could be raven and pretend they were a couple

brain juice wore off pls enjoy the hcs 👾

[cherry-flavored-sigh]

a lil headcanon about the end of NPMD (spoilers ahead, obvs)

i was thinking about NPMD this morning (as you do) and i realized something.

by the end of NPMD, when max's soul is taken by the lords? who do you think is going to torture him the most?

tinky.

let me explain.

who was tinky watching like a hawk during "the summoning"? pete. another spankoffski. another prize for his toybox. he could hardly keep his hands off him. you could see that he wanted to lunge at pete and grab him right away. he probably even got a bit mad when wiggly stroked the boy's face.

but it was okay. because this would be perfect! he'd have a Petey all of his own! and then he could torture the brothers together and they can watch each other suffer which will make them BOTH suffer more-

but then. BUT THEN.

max stopped steph from shooting pete. and either max moves at super ghostly speed or some magic imbued in his undead form from the waylon place gave him time-slowing powers. but either way, he stopped that bullet.

pete was going to die. and he wasn't going to heaven or hell. he was going to be taken to the Black, where he would definitely be tinky's new favorite toy.

so how dare this shitty zombie jock use this ripoff version of his time-controlling powers. and ESPECIALLY how dare he use them to keep pete from getting shot and his soul falling straight into tinky's terrifying grasp?

then he has to watch grace and max have sex, which is absolutely fucking disgusting. he was already seething, but now he knows that he's not going to get a good toy out of this deal. he's getting this stupid shitty kid that no one liked.

and he's not a spankoffski.

so when the lords do take his soul, when max is pulled into the Black, of course wiggly is gleeful about this. all of them are. oh, how they'll enjoy torturing him for all eternity, exposing him to unimaginable horrors and unspeakable evils. what a fun new toy!

but they decide that their furious bastard of a brother should get first dibs. after all, they knew tinky was really looking forward to having a Petey. and it's the only thing they can think of to calm him down, because "rage" doesn't even begin to describe how tinky's feeling right now.

besides, now that they have grace as their fun little soulsnatcher, they'll have plenty of other toys to play with.

so they gladly hand max over to tinky.

max thought he knew what fear was. skele'ns, ghosts, people forgetting about him, his (probably abusive) father.

no.

this is going to be way worse.

he sees tinky's horrific, goat-like grin, feels his crackling, angry energy radiating in the Black and surrounding him.

tinky's voice is low, a deep growl that shakes max's bones. he wears a smile that is anything but happy.

"you're going in the box now, maxie-poo. i hope you have..."

"... a great time." 💛

[amazingmsme]

So just imagine Ted meeting the rest of the Lords in Black. That man has no idea what the hell is going on, where the hell he is, or who the hell they are. But he doesn’t appreciate it & really isn’t all that impressed so I think he’d resort to being very snarky & defensive. Like they introduce themselves as the lords in black & legit do the whole song & dance. He just stands there swaying along & waits for them to finish & then goes “for the “lords in black” you sure are a bunch of rainbow lookin’ motherfuckers” complete with air quotes & everything

Chaos ensues when Tinky tries to keep his brothers from killing his new kidnapped boyfriend while Ted just keeps pissing them off on purpose

Shit like making fun of their full names in a teasey asshole way, which leads to informal introductions with their nicknames. & y’all he straight up bullies Wiggly & calls his ass out. Like “Wiggly? No relation to tickle me wiggly I suppose” & laughs at his own joke & Wiggly is quietly seething & goes “actually, yes” & Ted, lovable bastard that he is, doubles over in laughter like “oh my god, really? Fuckin’ A! So what, I just tickle your tummy and we’re friends or some shit?”

& Wiggly snatches his wrist & is like “don’t you even think about trying that again” & yeah it’s a little scary, but he’s pretty sure Tinky will protect him. So he just smirks & rolls his eyes like “ok riddle me this wise guy: why make a tickle doll of yourself if you don’t wanna get tickled?” & does that fucking shrug from tgwdlm (where he’s like I say we go & beg for the king’s help around 4:40 in the video) but he basically renders him speechless as he’s getting ready to lash out & make Ted eat those words. But Blinky’s like “we’ve all been thinking it, haven’t we?”

Ted is just enjoying the show as Wiggly’s all pissy & defensive like “I’ve told you it wasn’t even my idea!” But the rest of the lib are like “yeah suuuure” because they never pass up an opportunity to tease the shit out of him. & Ted just keeps stirring the pot & Wiggly decides to wreck him since he thinks this is all just so funny

[lady-loveluck]

In my HC where Max and the losers are friends, I imagine they are gonna go to a comicon and they try to make max do cosplay, cuz, y'know, he'd kill it with his looks and muscles, he'd do an amazing superhero!

Richie suggests Superman and Ruth agrees but Pete's like "naaah gimme a second"

And comes back with a Max in a Homelander costume.

[thatbaldartist]

Some art and headcanons of my favorite nerds~ Peter Spankoffski (he/him) -Autistic transmasc bisexual.

-Started testosterone a few months before the events of NPMD (hence his squeaky voice and general horniness.)

-Lives with his brother, Ted, who is also transmasc!

-Has known Richie since first grade, and met Ruth in dance class. They've all been inseparable since.

-Has aspirations to start a band with Richie and Ruth.

Ruth Fleming (he/she/they) -Transmasc bisexual.

-Hasn't changed their name or started hormones yet. They're still trying to figure everything out and any name they choose they end up hating.

-Richie's cousin (they just read like cousins to me.)

-Favorite music genre is K-Pop (much to Richie's distaste...)

-Dances in their spare time (usually by herself in their room.)

-Highly suspects they're neurodivergent, but doesn't have the resources to get tested.

Richie Lipschitz (he/they) -Autistic, gay transmasc nonbinary.

-Started testosterone a few years ago thanks to his uncle, Paul.

-(Speaking of-) lives with his uncle, Paul. Let's just say Richie's parents weren't the most supportive people when he came out to them.

-Ruth's cousin. They argue about their music tastes all the time (it's not Richie's fault that Ruth prefers K-Pop to the superior J-Pop!)

-Furry artist in their spare time (they designed Zeke the Fighting Nighthawk!)

[tedlovesmusicals]

random Spankoffski headcanons that come to me when I'm supposed to be sleeping

Ted and Paul went to Sycamore together but Ted was expelled/had to transfer to Hatchetfield High their senior year

When Ted found out Pete was saying more than one person, he immediately thought he was cheating and proceeded to make a calendar "to balance his brothers hoes" and not get caught.

When Ted presented the calendar to Pete, he was horrified and informed his older brother that he was in a polycule. Ted took him out for ice cream after cause he "didn't think he had it in him."

Ted and Pete's parents haven't been in their lives since Ted emancipated himself and took custody of Pete. Their dad occasionally checks in with them and tries to get them into the family business. Ted kicks him to the curb every time.

Paul also babysat Pete whenever he was with Richie, and then as they got older, Paul would drive the nerdy prudes around. Until Steph, the first of the group, gets her license.

Pete grew up knowing Alice from the company picnics Ted would drag him to. Alice is two years older, and the first openly gay person Pete knows.

In the timelines where Ted is the homeless man, Pete lives with his dad and only knows Ted through snide remarks his dad makes about his no good older son.

[spac3-pup]

Oh yeah Maxwell is totally auDHD who just lived in a toxic household and ended up suppressing his feelings and became like that (I'm projecting)

[areslikestodraw]

BABE WAKE UP! NEW PETEY HC JUST DROPPED

what if when Peter was younger everyone thought he was a vampire?

tell me this boy isn't the pastiest mf he is PAPER WHITE and probably actively avoids the sun

He has a bow tie so people think he's rich, VAMPIRES ARE RICH ASF USUALLY AND DRESS VERY FANCY

imagine little Pete running home in tears to his older brother, telling him people are scared of him

IMAGINE PETEY HAVING SHARP LITTLE CANINES THAT LOOK LIKE FANGS

Imagine Ted going to pick up Peter from school one day dressed up like a FULL VAMPIRE and telling Max/Peter's bullies that he'd bite them

[xxbimboboyxx]

This is how their homecoming went right?

Also i changed stephs dress to an extent because i have a giant hatred for the dress she wears in canon. Lemme know if you want me to rant about how shitty that outfit is for the setting shes in :3

oh and mixed steph cuz Corey plays her dad so it makes sense to me ^^

[davysaysstuff]

NPMD Job Headcanons:

Peter:

- Works at a furniture store and convinced his boss to let him get off early due to him needing to get his homework done

- Drives himself home, neither his mom or Ted can drive him home with their work schedules

- NEVER on his phone, keeps it in his back pocket only for emergencies

- Deals with rude customers on the daily and can’t wait for his last day there to finally be rude back to one of them

- Buddy-buddy with his boss, jokes around a lot with him and gets told stories about his life

- Has to wear ‘unflattering’ and ‘uncomfortable’ brown khaki shorts and a black polo for his uniform(his own words). He keeps his uniform stuffed in his backpack for after school when he has to go to work

Richie:

- Works at one of the many restaurants and usually closes(he works on his homework either in the morning or at study sessions in the library’s)

- Always on his phone when he can be and is yelled at by his boss. His phone almost got confiscated once

- Tries and fails not to let his snark and attitude slip in front of rude customers(or customers with odd orders)

- Records tiktoks occasionally with his coworkers for funnsies

Ruth:

- Works at the same place Richie does and drives him home because he doesn’t have his permit yet

- Slaps Richies phone away when she catches him on it

- Sort of a suck up to her boss because she finds her hot

- Does the closing shift with Richie

- Has her phone turned off during work so it won’t distract her

Steph:

- Doesn’t work, uses her dad money

Max:

- Same deal as Steph

Grace:

- Volunteers at the Church and occasionally gets paid for her work

[vilnmelling]

NPMD headcanon of the day

After Go Go Nighthawks!, Jason still calls Richie "Shit-lips," so I present:

Jason, being not the sharpest tool in the shed, thinks Shitlips is Richie's real last name (probably thinks Flemwad is Ruth's too), because that was all Max ever called him (mind you, Max calls Pete "Spankoffski")